Fresh Start

Well I found some tips on how to make puking easier so I'm going to try them. I'm starting new this week, trying to eat less food and drink more water, so wish me luck (even though no one's reading my blog)!! I could really use some more tips on easy puking so PLEASE!!!! help me out here.

-One (Fat) Desperate Girl

If anyone's reading this (which I doubt anyone is)...

If anyone's reading this (which I doubt anyone is), I really need your help. There's three things I need from you and your help would be greatly appreciated.

1.) I NEED tips on how to make myself throw up. I've tried everything and after about 6 tries, all I can get up is a very small amount of stomach acid. What do you do?

2.) I need some easy exercises I can do in my room, preferably without any equipment, that will help me lose weight fast.

3.) I figure that if I have a reward in mind for when (or if) I get to my first goal but I don't know what to reward myself with. I don't have a lot of money but I think it's enough to get myself something that will help me want to keep the weight off and work harder to lose more weight. What do you reward yourself with?

FRUSTRATION!!!!!

I am so frustrated with the fact that I can't get a gym membership and my mother can't get one with me. I can't exercise anywhere around my house because my mother doesn't understand why I want to lose weight. I wish she would stop telling me I'm beautiful, just the way I am. I can't possibly be beautiful because I'm still fat. Every Sunday when we're getting ready for church, I can't decide on an outfit because none of them look good on me. But she insists on telling me I look great and I hate it. I look ugly, and I'm sure everyone around me thinks so too. No matter what I wear, I can't hide fat. Why does food have to taste so good??? It's just not fair... We're going to my grandma's house in a week or so, hopefully I'll eat less there. I usually spend some time there during the summer and I eat way less and get way more exercise while I'm there, so maybe the time we spend there next week will get me back in the habit of not eating. Wish me luck (I'm REALLY going to need it)!

 NOTE: I DON'T OWN THESE PICTURES

Valentine's Day Hatred

I hate valentine's day. And it's not just because I'm single, it's because of the candy. I've eaten soooo much candy today I think I might die. And I still can't make myself puke (if you have any tips on easy puking, I would love to hear them!) so it's all just sitting in my stomach, making me even fatter than I already am. I'm too young to get a gym membership by myself and we don't  have enough money to pay for one for my mom too. I don't have anywhere else I can go to exercise. I HATE BEING FAT!!!! I hate eating, I hate not being able to puke, I hate loving food, and I hate feeling like there's nothing I can do about it!

NOTE: AGAIN, I DO NOT OWN THESE PICTURES!

MOOOO!

I am a cow. I seriously think I've gained like 20 pounds in the last two weeks. I hate food. Correction: I hate myself for loving food. I'm so sick of being fat. I weigh 260 pounds. Well probably more now. My first goal is to get down to 199 which (BMI) is considered the maximum weight for my height (5'9'') to be considered obese, as opposed to extremely obese. After that I hope to get down to 172 which is the maximum weight to be considered healthy. Then down to 125 which is the maximum weight to be considered underweight. Then I think 115 would be nice. But the way I'm eating now, I'll never get down at all. I'll just keep gaining and gaining until I get so fat I can't even move. Not that I'm too fat now. I won't be satisfied until I reach 110. That is my ending goal.

Some thinspo to lift the spirit












NOTE: I DON'T OWN THESE PHOTOS I GOT THEM OFF GOOGLE

Hello

Greetings.

My name's Kalika and I'm new to this whole ED thing. I just recently discovered how disgustingly fat I am and it's time I do something about it. I'm hoping by keeping an ED blog I can have some other people to hold me accountable and it's an easy way to track my progress. Wish me luck!